I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
