if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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