i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
