Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
