Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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