Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
