i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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