Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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