so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
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He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
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I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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