last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
