Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
