i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
