ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
North Korea, Best Korea!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
