oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize