i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
