By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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