That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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