I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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