Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
