Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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