So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
