marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
