is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
