Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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