i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
