PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'd cum for enchiladas.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
