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We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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