i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
