she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
