Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
