talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
