Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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