How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
