I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
