the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
