Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
