My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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