He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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