they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
me + whiskey = a bad person
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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