Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
