we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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