im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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