She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
