Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
