Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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