take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
