I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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