TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
then he tried to convert me to islam
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
