Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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