I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
