Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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