Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
there is puke in my bra ... again
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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