Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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