Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
