I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
