My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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