Umm I'm too high to move.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
