just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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