Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
