i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
