People in love make me want to vomit
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
