Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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