Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize