My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
