i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
