ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize