Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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