A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
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