just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
