His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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