If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize