Hey man sorry I got all grabby
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i came on her dog
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
