After last night, I could never be a politician.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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